From our “Don’t Cry in Your Beer” advice segment…

Dear Right Answer…

From “Is the Right Answer Wrong?” February 5, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Is the right answer wrong?

“Is it possible to find yourself in a situation where, doing the right thing for someone else is doing the wrong thing for yourself…does the right thing then become the wrong thing? I find myself having been asked to testify against someone who caused me grievous wrongs many years ago, on behalf of children who are now in a position to be harmed by this person. Drudging up my past, facing this person after over a decade, completely throws me. I know helping this situation is the right thing for the other people involved, but what about the cost to my emotional health, and the people in my life who will have to deal with me through the process?”

Lynn’s Two Cents…

Dear “Right Answer”…

Life is filled with tough choices, some tougher than others. I can certainly understand your anxiety and your confusion; this is obviously one of the tougher choices that life brings our way. You have some decisions to make, and weighing in all your options will be an important part of making your choice.

Many people find the simple act of putting their thoughts in writing greatly aids in making decisions. A list of the pros and cons, a journaling of the emotions that have been brought up, and a list of possible repercussions of each potential decision can help clear your thinking process and allow you to make your decision based on the big picture and not based solely on your emotional state at the time.

In your situation, I would recommend you think about the time and emotional energy you will devote to this, where you are in your life and the impact it may have on you and the people around you. I would also think about how you could feel if you did not help, and the potential emotions you may have if the outcome did not protect the other people involved, knowing you could have helped and chose not to. Does avoiding a difficult situation in the short term mean that, in the long term you may have more emotional baggage to deal with regarding this situation because you add guilt to your list?

It is not an easy answer, and it will be different for everyone. Abraham Maslow, world renowned psychologist and author stated “You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.” There are times in everyone’s life that growth is the answer, but there are times that safety is…only you can truly know if you are able to make this journey and hopefully grow through a difficult situation to a place of personal growth that benefits others and yourself.

And stay tuned for…

Glenn’s Two Cents…

This is a tough question, therefore the sarcasm will be thrown out the window.  I only have one question, have you, yourself dealt with the past.  You need to heal first yourself before you can help others.  If it still causes you pain or anger then I would say don’t do it.   If you can honestly say you’ve moved forward and are ok, then fry the f***er.  I’m a very simple person and some of my quotes come from the most unlikely of places, but this one fits.  It fits for both sexes, but I will leave it unchanged and I’m sure you will get the point.  “A strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others!”

The Drink Guy