Parents Interfering, How To Cope!
Looking for advice, this question came in via our Drink Guy Face Book fan page!
I have been dating my girlfriend for just over a year. We are at the same university, and met there. We live in different cities, and both have gone home for the summer.
Being apart is tough enough, but her Mother is making it worse. We talk every night, usually online, but her Mother thinks we talk too much and hassles her about it constantly.
I have met her family many times and I thought we got along well, I don’t understand why her Mom is making her feel so guilty about our love affair.
Do they hate me?
I need advice, please Help!
I can understand your frustration, a long distance relationship is tough. Adding in a parent that seems to be unsupportive does not help.
First off, I think it’s important that you realize that what is happening with your girlfriends Mom may have nothing to do with how she feels about you.
Her Mom is coping with a child in university, home for the summer. A mix of emotions I’m sure, happy to see her, worry about their time together ticking away, and stress over having another person back under her roof to look after!
So first and foremost, remember that parents are just people too, not perfect and dealing with their own set of life situations that impact their behaviors.
My first recommendation would be to “put yourself in Mom’s shoes” and try to figure out why she may be feeling this way.
Is she supporting your GF financially, and perhaps feeling that the time spent chatting online could be better spent working for the summer, or helping around the house?
Is she feeling the impending “empty nest” and wanting your GF to spend more time with her?
Whatever the reason, it helps to attempt to see things from both sides. However, ultimately your relationship with your GF and the amount of time that the two of you, as adults, choose to chat each day is up to you.
A fantastic book that I find to be so helpful in these situations is Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life . I would highly recommend you both read it.
If this GF is someone that you could spend the rest of your life with, it will be important to establish positive relationship patterns right from the beginning. A positive pattern for dealing with outside interference between the two of you, and a positive pattern for dealing with extended family!
Hopefully some great fans will give you their thoughts too!
So Frustrated, let us know if this helps, and to the fans, let me know what you think, if this is a situation you have dealt with and if so, how you handled it!
Glenn’s Two Cents
I will so get my ass kicked if I comment on this one. Almost peed myself for what I was thinking.. Love Ya Lynn
The Drink Guy
Hmmm…I’m afraid to ask 🙂