As stated earlier, being a bartender has allowed me to travel the world and drink martini’s on countless beaches . I think it appropriate to share one of those experiences with everyone.
Most recently my travels took me to Southeast Asia, a beautiful place called Phaic Tan . Hot, humid and covered in lush vegetation it’s little wonder that Phaic Tan is often described as being ‘the armpit of Southeast Asia’.
Regular flights land at Phlat Chat airport or, if winds are strong, in a rice paddy within several kilometers of it. With its crowed, chaotic streets and heavy traffic the best way to travel is on a tuktuk, a motorized three-wheel rickshaw or a phukttuk, a decommissioned tuk tuk without brakes.
Phaic Tan offers coastal resorts so luxurious that staff are sacked daily just to maintain freshness. Having a love for the sun and the beach I opted to travel to Thong On province, just west of Point Taken on Kru Kut Bay. The regional airline, Southeast Asia Royal Service (SARS), makes regular trips to the province and ticket prices are low.
I stayed in the Peninsula Palace, close to the beach, to try my skill at the championship golf course designed by U.S. pro John Daly. It features ashtrays and a fully stocked bar at the start of each hole. Golfers playing the Peninsula course should be reminded that many of the bunkers are heavily mined and setting off an explosion is a two stroke penalty.
The people of Phaic Tan have absorbed a wide range of religious influences including Buddhism, Taoism, Animism and Hinduism. As a result, the dominant religion could best be described as Confusionism.
Ok, I’m sorry if any actually thought this travel guide real, you’ve just proved you’ve had too much to drink and are hereby cut off. I did however, pick this book up on my travels to Australia, and it kept me very amused for several days while at the beach. I would love to see Lynn’s book club read this book, absof**kinglutely hilarious.
Ahh..the joys of being a bartender, drink, travel and entertainment.
Cheers… The Drink Guy