Added on August 10, 2010 by Glenn
A woman got married and had thirteen children, then her husband died. She married again and had seven more children. Again her husband died. She remarried and this time had five more children. She finally died after having twenty five children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
The friend replied, "I think he means her...
Added on July 27, 2010 by Glenn
What to do with these kids?!?!
Some ideas are better than others...
Added on June 28, 2010 by Glenn
Eclipse is out today, so in honor of the third installment of the Twilight series, and because Lynn is crazy addicted to it all, the cheesiest Vampire joke I could find seemed appropriate. She'll love it anyway, especially the pictures. I don't get it, but whatever. It was her birthday this week, so Happy Birthday Lynn.
The Cullen Brothers Go To A Bar
Three vampire brothers walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire, Jasper, what he would like.
He responds, "I would like some blood."
The waitress turns to the...
Added on June 28, 2010 by Glenn
Two guys went out into the woods to do a little duck hunting, and while one kept close watch, the other drank a dozen beers. After considerable time passed, a solitary mallard flew over. The sober guy took aim but missed. "Quick!" he shouted to his drunken buddy. "Try and hit that duck!"
The inebriated guy waved his shotgun in the general direction of the sky, pulled the trigger and damned if he didn't hit the duck.
"That's incredible!" exclaimed the sober guy.
"Not really," said the drunk guy. "When there's a whole fuckin' flock, you can't hardly miss!"
Added on June 25, 2010 by Glenn
Not Sure What To Think
Auckland, New Zealand-A drunk driver trapped after overturning his car cracked open another can of beer while he waited for emergency crews to rescue him, a New Zealand court was told.
Defense lawyer Peter Young said that when Paul Sneddon, 47, found he could not open the doors, "he had nothing else to do at that point, so he had another beer."
Do I laugh Or Congratulate Him.
Added on June 22, 2010 by Glenn
Better Late Then Never
A girl says to her boyfriend, "I read a study that said 90 percent of all men masturbate in the shower every morning and the other 10 percent sing."
"Really?" says the boyfriend.
"Yes, and do you know what song they sing?" asks the girlfriend.
"No." replies the boyfriend.
"I didn't think so."
Another Stupid Drunk
This guy at a restaurant was intoxicated and annoying customers. The manager of the restaurant called the authorities and when the police came, they didn't arrest him but insisted that he call someone for a ride home, which he did. But when he...
Added on June 7, 2010 by Glenn
I Know The Feeling
A guy was sitting at a table in his favorite restaurant one evening when he spotted a beautiful woman across the room eating by herself. He called the waiter over and asked for their most expensive bottle of wine to be sent over to the woman. The waiter delivered the wine saying it was from the gentleman over there. She looked at it and sent a note saying, "For me to accept this, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $ 1 Million in the bank and seven inches in your pants."
After reading the note, the man replied with his own note, saying, "As it happens, I have...
Added on June 6, 2010 by Glenn
And Does This Mean C3PO Will Be A Bottle Of Goldschläger?
Added on June 2, 2010 by Glenn
And Apparently My Bad Day Could Get Worse!